A Piece of Mind

"apa sih yang ngga bwat kamu?"

hohoho dah lama nda ngisi blog nih...kali ini temanya seputar Natal. kita sering denger frase "apa sih yg ngga bwat kamu?" ciee sounds great huh? apa lg klo yg ngomong tuh someone yg special gt. apa jgn2 kita yg sering bilang2 gitu ma orang laen, ato bahkan... kita jg sering bilang gt ama Tuhan?

well kita smua mgkn dah tau klo hari Natal tuh kita memperingati hari kelahiran Yesus Kristus, Sang Juruselamat ke dalam dunia. aq ndiri jg udah hapal tuh dr kecil tapi terkadang aq lupa betapa dalamnya arti kalimat "Allah lahir ke dalam dunia sebagai manusia."

semalem abis dr kbaktian natal di PTC ma arek2 Eleos. pembicarae pak Stephen Tong dengan tema "Kristus, Raja Yang Miskin"

"Raja kok miskin?" "miskin kok jd raja?" hehe jd inget om Tong bilang gini kmaren ^^

apa si yg Yesus tinggalkan ketika ia lahir ke dunia? di surga sono, He has everything. all glory, honor and praises. smua malaikat sujud sembah dan memuliakan Dia.
ga perlu ngrasa laper, capek, panas, dan smua hal melelahkan yg ada di dunia ini
tapi akhirnya, the King of kings and Lord of lords harus lahir dalam sebuah kandang yang kumuh... kotor... ada binatang2nya.. bau pipis +e'ek nya binatang ... trus karena ga ada baju, Ia harus dibungkus dengan kain lampin semua kemuliaan dan hal2 keren lainnya di surga, Ia tinggalkan dan ditukar dengan semua hal2 yang begitu hina.

when He was born, those who recognize Him as a King was just some wise people that never heard anything about the God of Israel before..sementara orang2 srael sendiri mungkin sedang tidur di rumah masing2..

selama Ia hidup pun rasanya Ia banyak mengalami hal2 yg nda enak.. penolakan, pengkhianatan, tidak dihargai, di salah mengerti, dll dsb...
jadwal pelayanannya padat bgt, jam istirahat minim, yg sirik dan memfitnah banyak, org2 yg pertamanya mengelu-elukan Dia jd raja bbrhp hari kmudian berteriak "salibkan Dia!!"

"Raja kok hina?" "org yg hina kok jd Raja?"
pada detik2 penderitaan dan kematiannya, ia disalibkan seolah-olah sebagai penjahat yg paling jahat dan kejam. sebetulnya sebagai Anak Allah, Yesus bisa nda' sih ngatasin smua prajurit yg menyiksa Dia? bisa banget! tapi Dia gak lakukan itu... karena itu akan merusak rencana Allah yang besar untuk menyelamatkan manusia...

He has the power! He is the Ruler of heaven and earth tetapi rela dihina dan dilecehkan dengan cara yg nga manusiawi.. pada saat itu, dimana semua org yang ngakunya deket ama Dia? para murid? Petrus, yg pernah ngomong "bahwa biar yg laen meninggalkan Engkau, aku engga!!" malah menyangkal Dia 3x...

When He died, the only man recognize Him as a King, is the bad guy that was crucified next to Him.. how ironic....

trus selama Yesus hidup, kebanyakan barang yang Ia pakai tuh pinjam..
kandang tempat Ia lahir, itu pinjam..
waktu memberi makan 5000 org, ikan dan rotinya punya seorang anak kecil
waktu masuk ke Yerusalem dan dielu-elukan ama bnyk orang, keledai yang Ia tumpangi , itujuga pinjam..
bahkan setelah Ia mati dan dikuburkan, kuburan tempat ia 'menumpang' 3 hari, itu juga pinjaman...kenapa Allah yg punya langit dan bumi kok malah numpang + pinjem sana-sini?

pertanyaan yang terus muncul buat aku adalah.. "buat apa toh? what for?? ngapain coba???"
pada zaman Ia datang, perasaan gak banyak org yg menganggap eksistensinya, bahkan mgkn ga ada yg ngerti seberapa besar pengorbanan yang telah Ia lakukan saat Ia datang ke dunia ato sebrapa besar dan kerennya rencana keselamatan yang Allah nyatakan dalam diri Yesus.
never was, and sadly never now...
dan kalau Tuhan bilang "itu demi kamu" dan setelah mengetahui bahwa begitu besar pengorbanan yang Ia lakukan, rasanya kok berlebihan ya Tuhan? i don't deserve it...

it's just too sweet..
and just too much..

Yohanes 3 : 16  berkata
"Karena begitu besar kasih Allah akan dunia ini, sehingga Ia telah mengaruniakan Anak-Nya yang tunggal, supaya setiap orang yang percaya kepada-Nya tidak binasa, melainkan beroleh hidup yang kekal."
kata "begitu besar" ternyata sama skali engga hiperbolis.. bahkan mungkin kerasa kurang besar
tapi mungkin semua itu tadi harus Tuhan lakukan untuk membuktikan bahwa Ia tuh engga NATO (alias No Action Talk Only)

a proof of LOVE!! karena cinta tuh butuh pengorbanan, dan pengorbanan jelas butuh bukti yang nyata... dan Tuhan udah buktikan cintanya bwat kita semua. hehe emang manusia tuh kan dari dulu sukanya minta-minta bukti ma Tuhan ^^;;;

back to the title,
kalo manusia sering bilang "apa sih yang engga bwat kamu?" tapi pada prakteknya ternyata  masih banyak yang 'engga buat kamu'
Tuhan gak gitu...
kalau Dia bilang "apa sih yang engga bwat kamu?" u know what, He mean it!!

merry christmast, my friends!!!
If this christmast u receive no gift or u feel that nobody loves you, remember that from 2000 years ago until the day u read this blog, Someone has loves u and has proven His love to you. His name is Jesus.

'Yesus rela jadi miskin, supaya kita kaya di dalam Dia
Yesus rela direndahkan, supaya kita kelak dapat ditinggikan bersama Dia
Yesus rela meninggalkan surga, supaya kita bisa mendapatkan surga...'

-stef-

welcome to real life!! where sh*t happens ... a lot !!

welcome to real life!!
where sh*t happens ... a lot!!!

huehehe judul di atas hampir jadi 'wise words of the day' kmaren
kejadiannya pas kumpul2 ama para planeswalker yg laen n kita play together gt
trus salah satu dr kita bilang "aduuuh salah, reekk!! kok isa gitu??"
intinya he miss-calculated something yg seharusnya tidak terjadi ...
ummm something seperti habis meng-cast "armagedon" plus sudah nyimpen sejumlah land ditangan tapi pada akhirnya musuh land-nya lebih lancar ....

well it reminds me about something that happened in my life lately ..
aku nyeletuk aj "welcome to real life, bro!!"
trus si Guntur nambahin "yeah! Sh*t happens!!"
si andi pencenk akhirnya nyelesain "a lot..."

entahlah, rasanya makin tua n dewasa, kita akan makin sadar betapa 'sh*tty' nya dunia yg kita tinggali ini
it's already too corrupted, befouled, full of lies and many other 'sh*tty' things in it...

ga sdikit yang kecewa ... ga sdikit yang jadi putus asa ... dan ga sdikit yang berubah jadi skeptis...
yang aku lihat adalah dunia seakan membentuk manusia menjadi pribadi yang :
- cuek [asal gak nyenggol gw ya... asik2 aja]
- egois [coz everybody does....]
- tidak percaya pada org lain [karena manusia sering kali mengecewakan]
- tidak percaya akan cinta [coz love's just too sweet to be true]
- tidak percaya akan Tuhan [coz mostly we just don't understand why He let all these sh*tty things happened]

so, if you read this and say that 'i'm not one of those people'.. you should be gratefull

i thank God coz i've just through something 'bad' and it WAS disappointed me
and though things are still 'sh*tty' around but i know i've become a better man
i've learned my lesson ... again
and i know what this sh*tty world need is not another skeptical person..
but someone who still belive and can make other people believe that love does .. exist...

di bawah ini adalah kutipan dari pak Francis dari Asisi :
===========================================================
Tuhan, jadikanlah saya alat dalam damai-Mu;
Di mana ada kebencian, izinkan saya menabur kasih;
Di mana ada luka, pengampunan
Di mana ada keraguan, iman
Di mana ada keputusasaan, pengharapan
Di mana ada kegelapan, terang
Dan di mana ada kesedihan, sukacita
Oh Tuhan yang Ilahi, anugerahkan kepada saya agar saya tidak terlalu mencari
Untuk dihibur sebagaimana saya menghibur;
Untuk dipahami sebagaimana saya memahami;
Untuk dikasihi sebagaimana saya mengasihi.
Karena sesungguhnya dalam memberi kita menerima;
Adalah dalam mengampuni kita diampuni,
Dan adalah dalam keadaan sekarat kita dilahirkan kepada kehidupan kekal.
===========================================================================

PS : i think, this is one of God's words about this : (Roma 8 : 28 - 39)

"you can be as sh*tty as this place or we can start to make this sh*tty place a better place...*

-stef-

my sanctuary ^_^

sanctuary: a shelter from danger or hardship / a place of refuge or asylum life

can be stormy sometimes..

i'm so confused,frightened, feeling so insecure...

this past whole week, i've been trying to clear up my mind but actually, i know, maybe i'm just trying to run away from my problems

but, yes.., i do need a place to run to somewhere where i can feel safe and comforted

i need to find my sanctuary...

where is it? where is my sanctuary?

i tried to contact my friends.. i did things i like and fond of... they did help... but they are not my sanctuary...

"try to find Him..He is my sanctuary." said a friend to me..

i've forgotten that i have Him.. Jesus...

all this storm, darkened sky and tidal waves around me have made me forget that i'm never alone

He, who never fails me...

He is my sanctuary..

He didn't say "i'll stop the storm" or "i'll clear up the sky for you" or "i'll command the sea of your life to calm down"

but He said "I'm here with you.. you're not alone"

"We'll make it through this storm."

"i promise u'll see the blue sky again"

"and this tidal waves will never bring ur ship down"

He is my sanctuary...

for the past five years, since i know Him,

He never fails me and i know, His helping hands was never late

i will regain my strength and i'll keep on going

i'll make it through this complicated storm

for nothing is impossible for Him

"sometimes, when everything goes too complicated and you don't know what to hold on to. try to hold something small, simple but yet powerfull: faith"

Mattew 17 : 20

GBU ^_^

-stef-

movie review : Silent Hill

hohoho abis nonton silent hill (bukit nan sunyi) neh ^_^ umm overall bagus sih... rada2 'ga jelas' ceritanya sih... seolah-olah ada dua dunia.... tapi yah mungkin interpretasi tiap2 org akan berbeda... tapi yah .... bwat yg suka film horor, bau2 mistik gak jelas, ato yg suka nuansa2 berdarah-darah + aga sadis + aga nggilani.... pasti doyan nih pilem... hati2 bwat yg gampang takut... pasti bnyk tutup mata n teriak2nya huehehehe ^o^ anyway perasaan tense(tegang) ama misterinya kerasa bgt kok dr awal sampe akhir film cuma dari segi cerita aja mungkin klo buat aku kurang pas soalnya ga hepi ending... bukan sad ending seh, tapi gak hepi ending yg pasti masih termasuk nice movie ^_^ aku kasi nilai... 7,5

Good bye rune midgard

huehehe aslinya sih udah lama bgt pensiun maen ROnya, tapi baru kmaren ma temen2 (lele endut,geri n evan) ngehabisin harta di RO... mayan seneng sih ngelihat equip2 yg dulu sempet di'dewa'kan pecah satu per satu ^^ umm emang sih hartaku di Midgard paling dikit klo dibanding ma temen2 yg laen tapi dulu pas pertama maen tuh ndapetinnya suuusaaah bgt... untung jg aq sempetin maen makan eskrim lagi di tengah kota Morroc sambil bagi2 headgear n duit bbrp juta zenny huehehehe mestinya dr dulu aku lakuin ^_^ umm moral ceritanya adalah... value ato nilai berharga-tidak nya sesuatu itu ada dari diri kita sendiri ... si lele aj sempet bilang "coba ini setaon lalu dilakuin... bisa2 malem ini ga bisa tidur kita mikirin equip n ratusan juta zenny yg ilang" wekekeke sesuatu yg setaon lalu begitu precious n kita bangga2in tiba2 berubah jadi 'sampah' yg ga da harganya begitu saja...

well...g'bye Rune Midgard...bnyk cerita udah terjadi di sana ^^
ketemu temen2 baru jg... well it was fun, but it's just a game afterall ..

"a game is a game.. no matter how real and tough it is, real life is a tougher game"
-stef-

what a friend is ....

"that's what friends are for.."
mungkin kita perna ato sering denger kata2 di atas
"itulah gunanya teman.."
well tiba2 aja terpikir seandainya i've got no friend around me
i used to be alone.. without anybody..without friends
i used to think that i can face this world alone, on my own..
and i can see lots of people doing what i've done
pretending to be strong enough to stand alone,
keeps every single problem within and wont share it to anyone,
well actually everything is just... ok. without friends its still ok
it's just sometimes it feels like the world is boring and painted in black and white
i asked God if i can find real friends ... and He gave me lots of friends around me now
Thank you Lord! i thank God for every friend i have around me...

"A real  friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
a friend is not only someone whom we share our joy with, but a real friend is the one that be there for u when u've got through the darkest hour of ur life

dan aku blajar satu hal lage bahwa temen yg baek tu ga cuma ngomong yg manis2..
"A true friend stabs you in the front."
- Oscar Wilde
i agree with mr.Oscar Wilde neh...
temen yg baek jg kadang harus bisa 'nusuk' kmu dari depan
nunjukin klo kamu salah, negur secara fair..
asal 'nusuk' nya dr depan gpp ...
klo 'nusuk' dr blakang ato "enemy from behind" itu bukan temen namanya
klo bole ngutip kata2 dosen ISBDku:
"itu namanya penipuan! itu namanya pelecehan! itu namanya BANGS*T!"

this post is for my friends...
you guys are the colors of my life ^_^
GBU all

"honesty and truth is like a sharp needle that pinned you upfront,
lies and deceit is like strands of cotton that choking your neck slowly.."
-stef-

the show must go on

sometimes it's funny if we found someone who just can't go on with their life..
well it's true that our past is one of the most important factor that make us what we are now
but to life in the past,hiding behind the shadow of our past or even to dream about our past...
is a lil' bit meaningless...
i used to do those things though -_-;;; *duuh!*
within these last two months, many things happened.. they happened so fast!
and in the end everything didn't work as i thought or i dreamed...
but it's OK!
i've done what i could..
i've told what's in my heart...
i've given what's the best from me...
but still.. it wasn't enough -_-
disappointed? a lil' bit i guess! but hey, living in painfull reality is much better than to live in a beautifull dream
i thank God for this ... ehmm small-memorable-event in my life. ^^
at least she had made me to belive again in something that i thought was never real
a feeling that i never felt before, a dream that i believed was never exist
and i will never be the same ^_^

the show must go on, dude!
another chapter of my life must be written
and me, as the main character *ehem*, must survive that last chapter's 'failure'

anyway....
"we will never be able to change what we were
but there's always a chance to change what we will be"
-stef-

time never stop

lately aku punya banyak masalah soal waktu...as usual time managementku emang ga terlalu baek (yeah!) -_-

well it's funny soalnya dulu aku suka sok sibuk gitu... aslinya sih dulu sibuknya jalan2, seneng2, maen2 (oooh i missed those days) T_T

well skarang jadi sibuk beneran and everything happened so fast!

tapi ya... sperti post pertamaku .."a man gotta do what a man gotta do"

skarang baru nyadar klo waktu itu penting banget! (.\_/.)

it only know how to move forward, it never stop, it never wait...

people always wonder if they can turn back the hand of time or to move faster than time but i think it only proof that time is really something THAT precious that make men dreamed to be able to control it.

so, if we have enough time to be with our family, enjoy it ... make it precious. If we still have enough time to hang out with our friend, enough time to take a nap, enough time to eat your lunch with no rush, enough time to sleep at night, enough time to be with someone you love, enough time to study.... do it all with your heart and do the best!

sometimes it fun if life is just like a game with saving points.... we can always return to repeat things and stuff. it's just too bad that life is not a game with saving points....

well... just a piece of my mind ^_^

"do the best, God will do the rest" -stef-

What makes a man... a man

hmmm just crossed my mind lately ...
maksudnya bukan apa yg ngebedain cowok ama cewek .... --'''
bukan itu tapi lebih ke arah kedewasaan seseorang... khususnya yg cowok
konon kada psikolog klo cowok tuh lebih lambat kedewasaannya dibandingkan dengan kaum cewek
tapi mnurutku yg ngebuat seorang cowok tuh .. be a man! itu adalah tingkat pengendalian dirinya.
yup! self control!
one of the greatest enemy of men is himself.
gimana cara seorang (dlm hal ini cowok) mengendalikan dirinya sendiri menunjukkan seberapa dewasa dia
cara dia mengatur prioritas dalam hidup, cara pengendalian emosi, cara pengendalian ego, dll dsb
dan semua itu dihitung dalam segala kondisi: good mood, bad mood, worst mood, at any time.
it's not easy to be a man.. but lately i've been thinking and learn a lot from it.
tapi emang makin dewasa kita, makin susah memilih melakukan apa yang kita suka untuk lakukan dengan apa yang harus kita lakukan.

"a man gotta do, what a man gotta do"

-stef-